Kink, fetish, and all that jazz!

invaderchloe000:

asktheoncie:

simple-and-clean-sanctuaries:

subwaywalls:

vinneh:

travalicious:

My Son Is Gay

Or he’s not. I don’t care. He is still my son. And he is 5. And I am his mother. And if you have a problem with anything mentioned above, I don’t want to know you.
I have gone back and forth on whether I wanted to post something more in-depth about my sweet boy and his choice of Halloween costume. Or more specifically, the reactions to it. I figure if I’m still irked by it a few days later, I may as well go ahead and post my thoughts.
Here are the facts that lead up to my rant:

My son is 5 and goes to a church preschool.

He has loved Scooby Doo since developing the ability and attention span to sit still long enough to watch it.

Halloween is a holiday and its main focus is wearing a costume.

My son’s school had the kids dress up, do a little parade, and then change out of costumes for the rest of the party.

Boo’s best friend is a little girl

Boo has an older sister

Boo spends most of his time with me.

I am a woman.

I am Boo’s mother, not you.

So a few weeks before Halloween, Boo decides he wants to be Daphne from Scooby Doo, along with his best friend E. He had dressed as Scooby a couple of years ago. I was hesitant to make the purchase, not because it was a cross gendered situation, but because 5 year olds have a tendency to change their minds. After requesting a couple of more times, I said sure and placed the order. He flipped out when it arrived. It was perfect.
Then as we got closer to the actual day, he stared to hem and haw about it. After some discussion it comes out that he is afraid people will laugh at him. I pointed out that some people will because it is a cute and clever costume. He insists their laughter would be of the ‘making fun’ kind. I blow it off. Seriously, who would make fun of a child in costume?
And then the big day arrives. We get dressed up. We drop Squirt at his preschool and head over to his. Boo doesn’t want to get out of the car. He’s afraid of what people will say and do to him. I convince him to go inside. He halts at the door. He’s visibly nervous. I chalk it up to him being a bit of a worrier in general. Seriously, WHO WOULD MAKE FUN OF A CHILD IN A COSTUME ON HALLOWEEN? So he walks in. And there were several friends of mine that knew what he was wearing that smiled and waved and gave him high-fives. We walk down the hall to where his classroom is.
And that’s where things went wrong. Two mothers went wide-eyed and made faces as if they smelled decomp. And I realize that my son is seeing the same thing I am. So I say, “Doesn’t he look great?” And Mom A says in disgust, “Did he ask to be that?!” I say that he sure did as Halloween is the time of year that you can be whatever it is that you want to be. They continue with their nosy, probing questions as to how that was an option and didn’t I try to talk him out of it. Mom B mostly just stood there in shock and dismay.
And then Mom C approaches. She had been in the main room, saw us walk in, and followed us down the hall to let me know her thoughts. And they were that I should never have ‘allowed’ this and thank God it wasn’t next year when he was in Kindergarten since I would have had to put my foot down and ‘forbidden’ it. To which I calmly replied that I would do no such thing and couldn’t imagine what she was talking about. She continued on and on about how mean children could be and how he would be ridiculed.
My response to that: The only people that seem to have a problem with it is their mothers.
Another mom pointed out that high schools often have Spirit Days where girls dress like boys and vice versa. I mentioned Powderpuff Games where football players dress like cheerleaders and vice versa. Or every frat boy ever in college (Mom A said that her husband was a frat boy and NEVER dressed like a woman.)
But here’s the point, it is none of your damn business.
If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.
If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it. No one.
But it also was heartbreaking to me that my sweet, kind-hearted five year old was right to be worried. He knew that there were people like A, B, and C. And he, at 5, was concerned about how they would perceive him and what would happen to him.
Just as it was heartbreaking to those parents that have lost their children recently due to bullying. IT IS NOT OK TO BULLY. Even if you wrap it up in a bow and call it ‘concern.’ Those women were trying to bully me. And my son. MY son.
It is obvious that I neither abuse nor neglect my children. They are not perfect, but they are learning how to navigate this big, and sometimes cruel, world. I hate that my son had to learn this lesson while standing in front of allegedly Christian women. I hate that those women thought those thoughts, and worse felt comfortable saying them out loud. I hate that ‘pink’ is still called a girl color and that my baby has to be so brave if he wants to be Daphne for Halloween.
And all I hope for my kids, and yours, and those of Moms ABC, are that they are happy. If a set of purple sparkly tights and a velvety dress is what makes my baby happy one night, then so be it. If he wants to carry a purse, or marry a man, or paint fingernails with his best girlfriend, then ok. My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is ‘normal’ and what is not, but to help him become a good person.
I hope I am doing that.
And my little man worked that costume like no other. He rocked that wig, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I love this woman.

I love this woman and I love her kid. Rock on, little dude.

Every time I see this I feel the urge to reblog it. It’s brilliant.

REBLOGGING.
FOREVER.

((This needs to be reblogged RIGHT now. This kid is absolutely adorable and I hope he dresses up as whatever he wants again this year. <3 He looks great in his costume. <3))

<3!
Forever reblog. i love this.

Fight gender expectations and stereotypes! Way to go kid! Also, AWESOME MOM!

asktheoncie:

simple-and-clean-sanctuaries:

subwaywalls:

vinneh:

travalicious:

My Son Is Gay

Or he’s not. I don’t care. He is still my son. And he is 5. And I am his mother. And if you have a problem with anything mentioned above, I don’t want to know you.

I have gone back and forth on whether I wanted to post something more in-depth about my sweet boy and his choice of Halloween costume. Or more specifically, the reactions to it. I figure if I’m still irked by it a few days later, I may as well go ahead and post my thoughts.

Here are the facts that lead up to my rant:

My son is 5 and goes to a church preschool.

He has loved Scooby Doo since developing the ability and attention span to sit still long enough to watch it.

Halloween is a holiday and its main focus is wearing a costume.

My son’s school had the kids dress up, do a little parade, and then change out of costumes for the rest of the party.

Boo’s best friend is a little girl

Boo has an older sister

Boo spends most of his time with me.

I am a woman.

I am Boo’s mother, not you.

So a few weeks before Halloween, Boo decides he wants to be Daphne from Scooby Doo, along with his best friend E. He had dressed as Scooby a couple of years ago. I was hesitant to make the purchase, not because it was a cross gendered situation, but because 5 year olds have a tendency to change their minds. After requesting a couple of more times, I said sure and placed the order. He flipped out when it arrived. It was perfect.

Then as we got closer to the actual day, he stared to hem and haw about it. After some discussion it comes out that he is afraid people will laugh at him. I pointed out that some people will because it is a cute and clever costume. He insists their laughter would be of the ‘making fun’ kind. I blow it off. Seriously, who would make fun of a child in costume?

And then the big day arrives. We get dressed up. We drop Squirt at his preschool and head over to his. Boo doesn’t want to get out of the car. He’s afraid of what people will say and do to him. I convince him to go inside. He halts at the door. He’s visibly nervous. I chalk it up to him being a bit of a worrier in general. Seriously, WHO WOULD MAKE FUN OF A CHILD IN A COSTUME ON HALLOWEEN? So he walks in. And there were several friends of mine that knew what he was wearing that smiled and waved and gave him high-fives. We walk down the hall to where his classroom is.

And that’s where things went wrong. Two mothers went wide-eyed and made faces as if they smelled decomp. And I realize that my son is seeing the same thing I am. So I say, “Doesn’t he look great?” And Mom A says in disgust, “Did he ask to be that?!” I say that he sure did as Halloween is the time of year that you can be whatever it is that you want to be. They continue with their nosy, probing questions as to how that was an option and didn’t I try to talk him out of it. Mom B mostly just stood there in shock and dismay.

And then Mom C approaches. She had been in the main room, saw us walk in, and followed us down the hall to let me know her thoughts. And they were that I should never have ‘allowed’ this and thank God it wasn’t next year when he was in Kindergarten since I would have had to put my foot down and ‘forbidden’ it. To which I calmly replied that I would do no such thing and couldn’t imagine what she was talking about. She continued on and on about how mean children could be and how he would be ridiculed.

My response to that: The only people that seem to have a problem with it is their mothers.

Another mom pointed out that high schools often have Spirit Days where girls dress like boys and vice versa. I mentioned Powderpuff Games where football players dress like cheerleaders and vice versa. Or every frat boy ever in college (Mom A said that her husband was a frat boy and NEVER dressed like a woman.)

But here’s the point, it is none of your damn business.

If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.

If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it. No one.

But it also was heartbreaking to me that my sweet, kind-hearted five year old was right to be worried. He knew that there were people like A, B, and C. And he, at 5, was concerned about how they would perceive him and what would happen to him.

Just as it was heartbreaking to those parents that have lost their children recently due to bullying. IT IS NOT OK TO BULLY. Even if you wrap it up in a bow and call it ‘concern.’ Those women were trying to bully me. And my son. MY son.

It is obvious that I neither abuse nor neglect my children. They are not perfect, but they are learning how to navigate this big, and sometimes cruel, world. I hate that my son had to learn this lesson while standing in front of allegedly Christian women. I hate that those women thought those thoughts, and worse felt comfortable saying them out loud. I hate that ‘pink’ is still called a girl color and that my baby has to be so brave if he wants to be Daphne for Halloween.

And all I hope for my kids, and yours, and those of Moms ABC, are that they are happy. If a set of purple sparkly tights and a velvety dress is what makes my baby happy one night, then so be it. If he wants to carry a purse, or marry a man, or paint fingernails with his best girlfriend, then ok. My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is ‘normal’ and what is not, but to help him become a good person.

I hope I am doing that.

And my little man worked that costume like no other. He rocked that wig, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I love this woman.

I love this woman and I love her kid. Rock on, little dude.

Every time I see this I feel the urge to reblog it. It’s brilliant.

REBLOGGING.

FOREVER.

((This needs to be reblogged RIGHT now. This kid is absolutely adorable and I hope he dresses up as whatever he wants again this year. <3 He looks great in his costume. <3))

<3!

Forever reblog. i love this.

Fight gender expectations and stereotypes! Way to go kid! Also, AWESOME MOM!

(via toshihakari)

1 month ago -

53994

Reblog if you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans*, queer, asexual, pansexual, questioning or an ally.

Ally!!!

(Source: queerwritesproject, via toshihakari)

3 months ago -

8138

bumfinger:

Just have ;)

(Source: filthywetslut, via cumfordaddy)

4 months ago -

1119

cocksucking-accent:

mygayshoes:

rapeculturemakesmeangry:

This is from the slut walk. One of the arguments is that girls ask for rape because they wear slutty clothes, short skirts, tight, low-cut tops. This girl is an example of the fact that rape victims can look like anyone, you, me, this girl. Rapists. Dont. Discriminate.

Okay.

Can I point out here that we don’t know that this person is a ‘girl’?

No assumptions.

Actually, I know this person is not a girl, because we have a friend in common. He’s very much a he.

6 months ago -

198269

want! <3

(via spaceghostzombie)

6 months ago -

3284

Okay, so-called "feminists," take note.

Totally agree. Thank you.

Hello!

I’ve been seeing a lot of you around lately, on Tumblr, on Facebook, on the subway, anywhere. I’ve been seeing you in hair salons and I’ve been seeing you on street corners. Essentially, I’ve been seeing you everywhere, and this isn’t a good thing.

Let’s have a little talk.

Calling yourself a “feminist” doesn’t immediately make you one, just like calling yourself any number of labels doesn’t make you one. You wouldn’t call yourself a Christian while violating the tenets of Christianity, would you? No. So why would you do that with feminism? Is it cool, all of a sudden, to call yourself a feminist? Is it edgy? I must have missed something, because those of you to whom this is addressed, suddenly seem to be calling yourself feminists while actually preaching the opposite.

Let’s do a bit of a checklist, quiz type thing.

1. If you judge other women for their sexual practices, you are not a feminist.

Look, it’s that easy. If you look at another woman’s sexual history or her current sexual behavior and you say she’s a slut/whore/any number of negative words, you are not a feminist.

If you think feminism is only for the monogamous, you’re wrong. Those women you call sluts are just as feminist as you claim to be. If you think feminism is for only those women who have casual sex, then you’re also wrong. Feminism is for monogamous women, too. The beauty of feminism is that we accept each other’s sexual practices as valid and okay, while keeping our own. We one sexual partner at a time, or multiple sexual partners at a time, and it doesn’t matter.

Sexual acceptance is a very important part of feminism. You can’t look at another woman and say, “You sleep around too much! You aren’t a feminist!” No, dear, it’s you that aren’t being the proper feminist. We feminists believe in being sex-positive, meaning that we will accept others and their sexual lives and not only not judge them, but accept them as valid.

So, if you think that women with a “high number” or multiple sexual partners are bringing down the cause, or are “sluts,” then you can kindly leave.

2) If you judge other women on their appearance, you are not a feminist.

Feminists come in all shapes and sizes. Thin women, fat women, big women, small women, tall women, short women, women with penises and women with vaginas. We take them all, accept them all, fight for them all.

We don’t look down on any sort of body, be in thin or fat. We believe in body-acceptance. And again, that means that we don’t “not judge,” but we accept. We say, “Hey! I’m 240 lbs and 5’4” and she’s 120 lbs and 5’4” and we are the same.”

We don’t look at women who wear a lot of makeup and say that they aren’t a feminist. We don’t look at them and say that they are trying to “please men” by dressing in a sexy way. We don’t demonise the idea of sexiness, because believe it or not, everybody likes being sexy and if sexy means wearing a ton of makeup and glitter, then damnit, that’s fine. It’s valid.

We don’t look at women who wear no makeup and say that they aren’t a feminist. We don’t look down on them for dressing their own way, for going for a minimalist approach that might seem to be counter-culture nowadays. We appreciate their sexiness for what it is. We don’t say that they are attempting to be anything—they are themselves, and that’s that.

If you judge anybody for their appearance, you can kindly leave.

3) If you are transphobic, you are not a feminist.

There is no place in feminism for transphobia or cissexism. You do not get to say “She’s not a woman because she has a penis.” No. She’s a woman if she says she’s a woman, and that means she’s a part of us. She is not a poser, a faker. She’s not trying to cash in on something, she’s not trying to be cool. She’s a woman in a different body and if you dare say that she doesn’t belong here, then it’s you that can kindly get out.

4) If you participate in rape culture, you are not a feminist.

We all have slips of the tongue and that’s especially easy to do with our language the way it is now, but actively, knowingly participating in a rape culture does not make you a feminist.

If you look at another woman and think, “No wonder she got raped—look at that skirt!” then you are not a feminist. If you think that if she was drunk, she was asking for it, you are not a feminist. If you look at any woman and place the blame on her in any way, shape or form for her sexual assault, then you are not a feminist.

5) If you think that girly-girls can’t be feminists, then you’re not a feminist.

You can be a “girly-girl” and be a feminist. You can embrace your femininity and be a feminist. You can hate femininity and be a feminist. The point is, each woman should choose the life she wants to have, and not be forced into it.

If you want to have the white-picket-fence dream, that’s fine if you want it, but only if you want it, just as if you want the opposite that’s also fine, but only if you want it. The point is that we accept women’s dreams for their lives, whatever they may be, even if they are different than our own.

6) If you don’t believe that we are all in this together, you are not a feminist.

If you think that only white chicks, black chicks, fat chicks, thin chicks, cis chicks, trans chicks, or any number of things, can be feminists, then you’re wrong. If you think only vegan chicks, meat-eating chicks, liberal chicks, conservative chicks, Christian chicks or atheist chicks can be feminists, then again, you’re wrong.

We are all feminists, no matter our religion, our creed, our physical sex, our origin, our backgrounds. What makes us feminists is that we accept, we validate and we move together to fight the attitude that you, my dears, are bringing.

The judging, the fighting, it needs to stop, now. There’s no way we can accomplish anything if we have women like you here, pointing at other women and saying they’re not good enough for ____________________ reason. We’re all good enough, and until we start accepting that we’re all good enough, we have no reason to be fighting, because our biggest enemy is ourselves.